Someone take me for a ride...Away from all of this insanity

firstly, I applaud my dear moo moo for being so frank with her feelings and expressing herself in this so-called personal space ie suppose to be called our own. I admired you for that! I'm worried for you dear but I won't say much. So please whatever you do, please be happy all right?

now I'm in a nonsensical mood. I'm sorry my dear ye zi lao and my dear mr samandy for making you guys worried. I'll be fine I swear! Sorry ye za lao for spoiling ur evening out... sorry mr samandy for enduring the traumatizing period while I blog, wondering what's wrong with me.

upset, depressed, disappointed, sad, down, unhappy, whiney, PMS, moodiness, loneliness, unloved, emotional, confused, contradicting, oversensitive, stubborn, unreasonable, immature...
All of the above clump together, I present you the state I'm in now.

I have so much to say but I dunno how to and where to begin. It's just me, myself and I complexing things and making myself upset for god knows what reason.

I should be glad to be well-provided and not having to worry about my school fees. Whereas out there, there are people who have to be driven out to work at the tender age of 16 to earn a living for themselves. I know I am overdemanding and I fully understand the situation my parents have gone through to put me through so much. I really do appreciate what they have done... and I really love them a lot. But sometimes it disappoint me when we just can't seem to communicate. I am really so upset by tt. I hate the feeling of having to tell a lie coz when I tell em the truth, they get angry. Sometimes I feel like slapping myself for being so truthful...But I dun wish to lie. Why can't they accept it and be glad that I'm at some decent cafe and not some nightclubs drinking my fill till my liver explodes? I'm searching for this trust to be breach between us but it seems so hard to come by. And I'm on the verge of giving up. It really makes me feel so sad and at a loss of what to do.

my heart wrenches and aches. Tears sting my eyes whenever I think about it. I'll get over it...No worries. Parents are always parents. In their eyes, I'm always the child that never grows up despite the fact I'm hitting 21. The age of freedom? -sneers- BULLOCKS! It's not applicable in my case...

i'm so used to calling you my own
and now it's hard to let you go
i never thought it would be so
though i wish you were here to hold
my promise will prevail
i will not be here to stay
for now i see you have found
someone that you can call ur own
i wish you happiness til you grow old

to someone else, i dun need you to miss me dearly... i need you to talk to me dearie!!! but that will not happen...


on a lighter note, i have fallen in love with Mc'donald' chocolate milkshake with a touch of hawt HAWT fudge *slurps* heavenly! *winks*

P.S: told you i'll be fine mr samandy and uncle huat =)

someone told me i am polite when i am tired

tonight i behave bitter cold

truth is, i am upset by the natters that the wind brings across

act decently if you don't wish for such misunderstandings

it's just that simple; somehow guys never get it

disappointments is what i have in mind

pictures time

nerds on the loose

isn't this beautiful?

water spurting out from the ground!!!

me & astheei was bored at work tt thurs before easter, i didn't know how to draw bunny so here's santa

another one...this was during marketing =) abracadabra *poof*

lastly, to end it off, this year, easter bunny gave me lotsa chocolates... anyone wants to buy???

normally...

On my way to work somewhere last week, it started raining so heavily. It didn't help esp when i was running late. Worse thing was, I was at Raffles City Shopping Centre which was a distance away from my workplace. I had to call my auntie for help. She was really nice, brought down the brolly for me despite the heavy downpour.

It then occured to me that back when I was in Zhonghua, the prefects on duty that rainy morning would use large umbrellas and help shelter those students who were caught under the rain. I found the prefects quite a nuisance sometimes. However at these times, they were my knight in shining armour esp when I hate bringing umbrella with me.

At the moment while I was waiting for my auntie, a nostalgic feeling overwhelmed me. Standing under the shelter, with the little raindrops hitting on my bare skin as the occasional breeze blew in was extremely refreshing. It then make me realise how i have taken for granted the comfort zone we used to live in back when we were much younger. It became a "normally, there would be someone there"... but as we grow up, all we have is ourselves. The age of independancy is edging near each moment the clock hand ticks, whether we like it or not. Though in fear, I anticipates what lies ahead and awaits the challenges it brings.

Presently, I am feeling exhausted from all the long hours of training I had previously. I have taken the day off tomorrow to catch up with my driving and hopefully some time for myself. I very much miss the lifestyle i had before working. So much free time and flexibility to do whatever, as and when I want. Oh yes, not forgetting my studies too. Come to think of it, I got back my first assignment. I got a Credit, not too bad for a first attempt *pat on the back* Have to work harder though for the next one. I am aiming for a HD.

Next deadline, 8th May : 2 assignments

right or wrong?

what's right?what's wrong?

who is to tell the rights from the wrongs?

and the wrongs from the rights?

delusion it spells, twirling one in the fingers

one tries to escape at the start

gradually one get used to the comfort zone

and ends up reluctant to leave

who is to blame? the cruel way this society is?

or the one who chooses to leave in self-denial?

of course, the latter... for you had the choice

the choice to stay... or go

quote from v for vendetta

take this...and that *piak*piak* here are the string of words that come spiralling into your face before you have time to fully interpret it...woo ultimate charming *winks*

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."