why does it seem

why does it seem that one is always waiting for some miracles to happen but always end up being disappointed?

why does it seem that one never knows how to cherish the opportunity they have until they lose it?

why does it seem that one have to be nasty to another before the other does something to make up for his actions?

why does it seem that the one who is doing all the speaking is always the girl and hardly the guy?

why does it seem that the one thing you least expect it to happen will take place right in front of your very eye?

so many questions but yet so few answers...

and now i only wish to hear from you and listen to what you have got to say...

weird...i log into blogger and guess what everything is chinese...haha!instead of the usual add new post...it's bian xie xing wen zhang...dieow! *faints* well this also mean tt my chinese is still not tt bad muahahha!in fact it never was...but somehow ppl just think tt i'm a potato coz of the strange accent i have

i'm in deep deep shyt...2 quizzes tmr but i'm not in the mood of studying at all!!! mainly due to pms...just feel so tired all the time and have all sorts of emotional roller coaster now and then...think i get irritated rather easily this few days...sorry to all who might have been through my tantrums once in a while...

my exams are 2 weeks away... first paper 7 th nov to be exact...followed by 9th,10th,15th,22nd then 25th...madness yea?!can't wait for it to be all over...sobs!oh and in the midst of what i should be doing ie studying...i went to accept a job as a receptionist at chijmes this friday evening plus volunteering my sat morning to help out my friend for her exams (a new experience which i enjoy hee!)...i'm not complaining but just think i'm out of my mind...i should be studying...!!!heck man! on the way back just now..one of my BOB, zhenghao sorta nagged at me saying studies should be my first priority...and yes i so so agree but i can't bring myself down to doing it!!!grrr!!!actually all of my BOB have been nagging...i think tf and andy has given up...haha!james did it yesterday...and even hansen started reminding me today...thank you all though..pls continue and dun stop!screwed!!!i'm so screwed!!!

please oh lord...lemme concentrate!!!crucial period of time...2 weeks left grrr!!!hate exams so so much...but the one up there is never fair booo!

i drove i drove...so exciting!!!

weee...my first experience with driving haha!so thrilling...haha!half the time my hands were clammy cold...and my heart were thumping hard as i press down the accelerator...woot!and all this made possible by my nice and brave tutorial mate mr alexander liu who's also the one who set up NTU first MOTORbike club...the president of NRC hee! (okie i blogged as requested hee!) now this way no accusation tt i will forget about tonight lol...shall not go into explicit details..just in case trouble of any sort arrives haha!

anyway i feel i have NO life at all!!!my goodness...my weekends spend in NTU tutorial rooms...mugging my pea brain away...bleahh!lil progress but oh well better than staying at home coz i think tt will decrease minimum to nil...oh and and, i went to study at nus campus on friday too...so lovely the place...awww i wanna migrate over!!!the library was spacious and lotsa vacants seats unlike LWN where one need to fight for a table sobs...also they have special corners like Perk Point = refreshment area, cubicles sealed up for ppl to talk on the phone and brightly coloured discussion rooms...i miss tt place!!!and the canteen food...cheap and good too!those studying in nus i envy u... -pouts-

sighs i miss my parents suddenly...but they are away in vietnam sobs...back on wed i think...so unfilial i dun even know when they coming back...somehow everything just dun feel right...i dun feel right...something feels amiss...recently my mum been real upset over work stuff but yet i can't think of ways to cheer her up...each time she will just go back to talking about her work problems again...and it just makes her all whiney and grouchy...bleahh!real bad time for all this to be happening...but studying should be my main priority so i guess just got to bear with it yea?!bleahh...

i miss home...i miss my grandma...i miss my brother...my mum...my dad...my friends like asthee,jiaxuan and hildya...i need a life...i need to go chill out somewhere...i miss grapevine too...sighs...please let it be over soon...exams just quickly be over and done with...sighs...

RETURN ME MY LIFE!!!

haven't been blogging for so long...is anyone missing me?haha!doubt there's alot of ppl reading my lifeless blog too...

well exams round the corner...been trying to study as much as possible each day...attempting to max out the productivity of my already diminishing brain cells...can't say it's very much productive but at least slow progress better than nth yea?!time is running out though...1st paper on 7th nov...xuan's birthday sighs~always can't manage to have a nice celebration for it's always exams time...feel so bad about it sobs!

i'm currently staying over at my friend's hall...life's been good and i would say i have my BOB around me all the time and taking care of me most of the time (other than the continuous teasings i get from them bleahh) but seeing them all work so hard...reduces my thoughts to sit back and relax...yikes! good thing though...haha! but yup just wanna express my appreciation to them hee! BIG THANK YOU!!!

i miss my family though...haven't been seeing them much since i shift into hall last week...esp my brother...when i was back during the weekends, he was either out working or sleeping the next half of the day...didn't see him or talk to him at all... well not like it makes alot of difference but sometime we still do have those short late night conversations when he returns home from work around 2+,3... i think it's been 2 weeks since we last did tt..sighs... oh also, my parents leaving for vietnam this coming friday... i'll be heading home tomorrow evening though but need to give tuition... so it will be like 9pm when i'm done... doubt will have much chance to talk to them too... sighs... i miss them and i dun deny i'm feeling homesick....sobs!!!also my dear grandma...when i was home, every morning without fail she will make me this ginseng drink which i would pinch my nose and force myself to swallow tt bitter tasting mixture... i just dun like the after taste...and well she will always laugh after i finish it coz she just can't understand why i hate it so much...when my 11 yr old cousin loves it so much tt she can chew the pure ginseng slices in her mouth pieces after pieces...lol...awww i miss home~ i wanna cry sob sob!

it's always like tt...when u have it u dun cherish it...only when u lose it then u start to think back and reminisce those times...and regret not making full use of the time when u have it...humans are just so contradicting...sighs...

met up with xiong,sherry and nigel today for dinner at grapevine,pity didn't get to see glady...after which went down to cineleisure for a show with xiong...caught 40 yr old virgin...not a bad show after all...did manage to relieve the stress a little...thought i know still have lots to catch up on regarding my studies

i'm blogging now because my hair is wet!!!uncle lim & co. please dun scold me k...not tt i dun wanna sleep sobs...i'm peeping through the tiny openings of my eyes while typing...*yawns*

have one uncertainty in mind...what's the friggin problem with those dumb love triangles?!! so angry!!!urgh! girls and guys alike...f**k this ppl...

been hearing so much about all these dumb ordeals whereby this person in the relationship not being happy with the bf/gf...so then one fine day someone better comes by,both parties can get along very well,the latter falls for him/her...but he/she being in an UNHAPPY relationship just can't friggin let go of the other half who's causing all the displeasure...damn these dumb ass!!!make me so mad...so many repeated cases and it's really pissing me off urghh!!!can i just bite their heads off?!and hang them on a pole and let the crows feed on the gruesome remains...

i mean... u gotta choose!!! it's ur f**king life for goodness sake... it's short & precious so please cherish it and do urself a favour, make urself happy!!! dun go around complaining about this and that putting u down... how about losing the touch to be happy... how about ur other half making u troubled by not being understanding...how much u like tt person but can't be together... how u can't let go even though there's so many disagreements between u 2 and how things will never be the same even though u are still together... URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

all this bullsh*t is just dumb to the core....GROW UP PLEASE!!!

humans are just selfish bastards... after being all so crude and all, who knows one day i might be contributing to the stats... i just so damn hate the corrupted hearts, the polluted minds, and the soon-no-longer existence humans (coz they all gonna turn into satans very quickly) arghhhh!!!

i just need to vent my frustrations...sorry for being so rude...thanks for listening...good night or good morning...it never make much a difference anyway... whatever whatever!!!

i'm in LWN now...so bored yikes!was doing maths tutorials...but got a little restless and here i am sitting right in front of the computer blogging...hee!!!should be scolded yea?!sighs...

anyway took a cab for the 2nd time of the week...both days rushing for quizzes...so i guess it's pretty all right hee!and i think i fair pretty all right for both quiz phew!missing so many peeps now...feel so no no life sobs!haven't seen my dearest for quite some time.. poh yian and jiaxuan it's been a week... hilday ever since her birthday... haven't had a hearty conversation with blair for a long time too... and here and there...bleahh studying really sucks!!!urgh!!!!even now when my uni friends are around...it's like everyone is busy with their own things...well exams round the corner so can't blame yea?!

need to set my priorities straight...and stop thinking of fun all the time grins...so tough!!!oh well i will pull through one mth one mth...hurry up and zoooom pass please *begs*

okie back to stats...lalala~woo can't wait to meet up with sherry and glady later hee!maybelle going too...nice nice haha!dada! *muacks*

old folks tale

home finally from the birthday dinner of my grand-uncle...woot!it was rather interesting when you're seated with a table of 7 elderly (not forgetting1 forty+ auntie & me,a 20 yr old and a lil 15 yr old amatuer) listening to what they have got to say during the 9 course (i think) dinner...and you actually discover they do gossip,laugh over lame jokes etc

one example was...this distant relative of mine, a female came in, greeted them then went to sat over the other table...then you hear them speaking in dialect...

grand-auntie A : oh my...look at how her figure has expanded...her face still looks the same but the figure is all gone...

grand-auntie B: ya ya i agree...last yr saw her she was much slimmer...now she ballooned up so much...not pretty anymore

...

i was so amazed...like usually u hear them say oh u've grown into such a fine young lady...but now when u listen again they were actually talking behind ur back...oh my~

then there was this topic about the cost of wedding dinners...well u know how they calculate by how much a banquet would cost per table sort...so they were discussing the previous wedding they went...the banquet cost 600+ each table...then another mention about one which cost 1000+...then they were like "wow the thousand dollar one must sharpen the teeth and all...eat up all the cutleries and perhaps the table too..."

dot...dot...dot... and i was thinking only youngsters are lame but actually old ppl can be just as lame too lol~

at the same time,there was this wedding dinner going on too...aww!don't you just love weddings?the wedding cake...the gowns...the pure and holy feeling...the love songs that is played throughout the dinner... *heart melts*

i know i do...somehow they never fail to revive my faith in love...they just makes me go all dreamy, fantasizing how my wedding would be like in future,who would be the one holding my hand walking down the aisle with me...it allows all my hopes and desires to surge out from their secret hiding place and make me feel there's actually love around and that i could fall in love all over again with that special someone...and it makes me want to find tt special someone soon and get married asap lol!it's madness i agree but that's just what weddings do to me...grrr!!!the effect is overwhelming but yet sweet to the core that ur knees goes weak at the thought of it...sighs!hate it yet love it...

but but but...can you imagine in yrs to come when one by one ur friends start getting engaged/married etc...and u're still single?!!!yikes...attending those ceremonies alone would be disastrous!!!yikes...i won't want tt to happen bleahh!and i suppose everyone would be asking "where's ur bf?","when's ur turn?" blah blah blah...so scary~!!!

oh nevermind shall not dash everyone's dream...think about white weddings later k?!how you would want ur wedding to be like...etc etc. awww so sweet...i'm melting away with each thought...
i wish i could but i have a stupid econs test i need to study for #*&^%! dada all!have a wonderful night...love ya all~may cupid strike u down if he hasn't *muacks*

hmmm eventful weekend i must say...been burning holes in my parents' pocket...huge one too yikes!hee!u will know why as i begin stating my latest possessions muahhahaha!

first...my new sony ericsson k750i woohoo!it's only like one day old?!hee!my intention was to get a new number together with tt...but tt didn't happen so yes i'm still stuck with 2 phones and i'm beginning to find it meddlesome and also for some other reasons that only i should know...the phone is way cool...i dunno why but i'm like not at all excited even when like the phone's functions are so darn good...how come eh?it's werid...but ya i did stay up late last night trying to prettify it even more by dling wallpapers,screensavers,themes,music etc etc...so yes my new item no. 1!

going on to no.2 ... bought some facial products finally~yeah! decided to be a 'hardworking' girl and start dolling up a lil... as the saying goes, there's no ugly girls in the world only lazy ones...haha!so yes some investments to start having better complexion...esp when late nights are contributing to the already bad state it is in...sobs...also i bought like a package facial treatment...6 times for like $400?pretty expensive but it's like the price have been already slashed half coz it's the new shop opening...originally it cost $138 for one...now it's at $68 each...so yup think long term it's more worth it yea?!yup yup...haha!

no. 3...i just cut my hair!!!lol...er the fringe is shorter,length shorter too..but think i'm still gonna pin it all up...my hair is just too messy,unmanagable and untamed lol!it'll look like a jungle if i let them down...just like the uneven canopies sticking out so yes up it goes neat and tidy should suit me just fine...

oh ya and i almost forgot to mention...i went down to the new grapevine on friday...oh my so pretty the place...looks so class and all~nice nice and not too many ppl too (in fact too little) but somehow the feeling just ain't the same as the one in serangoon...i guess it's because we are more used to the environment there and also the ppl...but yes it's just as nice still...do go down yea?!there's some promotions though...every main course come with either a soup/salad...smth like tt...tt night, we ate like so much but end up paying just a lil over $10...it was all worth it!!!anyway the address is 95 east coast road...it's located right opposite katong mall...head down and have a fun night chilling out there hee!

have to accompany my grandma to a birthday dinner now...hear from me later...dada